Little Big Man

From June:

This is my big, beautiful lap baby, Little Man. He adopted me several years ago. He was such a big boy (18 #) and had this tiny meow–actually sometimes he’d open his mouth and a squeak would come out–and that is how his name came about. I shortened it to Little Man. He could get louder, especially if another male came around and got into some ferocious fights! Even after I had him neutered, he’d still kick some kitty butt! His nose still has a scar from a fight.

He just showed up one day and I guess he decided to stay. For a long time, he wouldn’t come inside so I got a small dog house and put it on the deck to give him a place to sleep and get in out of the rain. Although, he didn’t mind the rain and would sometimes sit in it until it got real heavy. I kept offering to let him in and one day he accepted but he still wanted to go back out. Then one day I guess he decided being inside wasn’t so bad and he wanted to stay in more than he wanted out. That was when I found out what a lap baby he was! He would put all 18# of himself right in my lap and he purred very loud–I loved it! He was also a head-butter and liked to rub his head against me. He also liked to eat and begged for food pretty much most of the time! Whenever I had some yogurt he would sit by me until I finished and them I’d hold the container for him to stick his face into and clean it out. I think he would have pretty much eaten anything I offered him!

I’ve often looked at him and tried to imagine what he looked like as a kitten. I bet he was an adorable ball of fluff! His eyes are a light green and look like they are lined with eyeliner! (Don’t tell him I said that!) He was alittle overly agressive for the 2 girl kitties and they tended to stay away from him. If I was in the bedroom they’d usually all end up on the bed with me and if one of them was in a spot he wanted and didn’t offer to move, he’d lay down almost on top of them. He believed in making his presence known! The habit that drove me nuts was him walking right in front of me so I was tripping over him! MOVE! meant nothing to him!

Last year he started sneezing a lot and it was messy. I took him to the vet and left him for a week-end so he could medicate him. When I picked him up, he seemed better. but not too long after, the sneezing began again. The vet said he couldn’t do anything else for him. He has feline herpes and no, it isn’t like the herpes humans get! It’s a respiratory disease with no cure and contagious to other cats. I made a very hard decision last fall that he could not come back inside, in hopes the 2 inside cats wouldn’t catch it. It’s a situation that has brought me to tears. He doesn’t understand why if he gets in, I immediately put him out or stop him at the door. It makes me feel like such an a orge! He remembers there are soft places to take naps on!

Now that the weather has warmed up and I’ve been outside with him more, I can see bad days are ahead. He feels like he’s lost quite a bit of weight and his hair is not as thick. I know what’s coming and I dread it so much. One day, I’m going to have to put him in the car and drive down the road to the vet’s to have him put to sleep. I just keep looking at him and thinking, just a little bit longer.

It’s going to be a sad day.

And indeed, it was sad when I took him to the vet's the morning of my surgery last Thrusday. It hurt that I couldn't stay with him...really hurt.